“Rats, I'm flat broke,” said Davy. 

“Sell me Park Place,” offered Yvette. 

“No way! It's all I own - I'm saving that,” replied Davy. 

“For what?” demanded Yvette. “You don't have any money to do anything with it.” 

“Yeah, but if I sell it to you, you'll just stick a hotel on it and soak me for everything you can.” 

“So what will you do with it?” asked Pat. 

“I'm going to get filthy rich with it, that's what.” 

“How? You can't even afford to develop it,” noted Joshua. 

“I'll sell the fracking rights to it,” announced Davy. “Then I'll buy all of you out!” 

Karen looked at Pat. “This sounds like a legal issue. What do you think?” 

Pat nodded as she reached for a bowl behind her. “I think the Supreme Court needs to convene on this one.” She handed it to Joshua, who held it up. Putting one hand over her eyes, she reached into the bowl with the other and pulled out three cards, then handed them to Karen. 

“What's the verdict, cupcake?” asked Davy. 

Everyone sat quietly for a moment while Karen looked over the cards. 

“Hmmm, this is going to have an interesting outcome,” she said. 

“So what are his options?” asked Pat. 

“Well, the first card says the hotel was burned to the ground for the insurance,” said Karen. “The second one says the bank got fined by the SEC for insider trading.” Then she held up the third one. “This one says the property is listed as a Superfund site.” 

“You mean Park Place is a toxic waste dump?” asked Yvette.  

Davy didn't hesitate. “Hey, I'll sell you Park Place.” 

“Are you kidding?” Yvette shot back. “You never even disclosed the toxic waste part.” 

“That's because I pleaded the fifth.” 

“You should have told me!” 

“Why would I tell you anything?” retorted Davy. “Besides, I don't want it anymore.” 

Yvette scoffed at this. “Well, I don't want it anymore, either.” 

“Buy it!” 

“No! Your cover-up is indefensible.” 

“Oh yeah? Well, the defense says you're a rotten sister who should get life in front of a firing squad.” 

Yvette gave Davy a scathing look. “Oh yeah? Well, the prosecution thinks you're a crummy brother who should be locked away for the rest of his ungrateful little life.” 

“I think we need to make up more cards for the Supreme Court,” grumbled Davy. 

“Cheer up, Batman,” said Pat as she picked up another bowl. “Don't forget, we have the other bowl of cards.” 

Davy lit up. “Oh boy, the bowl of illegal activities! Can I pick one?” 

Karen looked at Pat with a shrug. “Hey, why not? It's right up his alley anyways.” 

Pat stood up and held it above Davy's head. “Just one!” 

Davy reached into the bowl, swirled his hand around, then pulled a card from the bowl. He cupped it in his hand, then peered in to read it. 

“What's it say?” asked Joshua. 

“It says here that I swindled a bunch of investors, and I collected fifty bucks from everyone before I went on the lam.” He held it up to show everyone, then held out his hand, giving Yvette a sinister laugh. “I showed you, didn't I? Cough it up!”  

After everyone chipped in, Davy announced, “Now I can afford to do something with it.” 

“Like what?” asked Karen. “It's a toxic waste dump, and we own all the properties and utilities.” 

Davy grabbed a salt shaker from the kitchen counter and set it on Park Place. “There,” he announced. “How's that?”  

“What's that?” asked Pat. 

“It's an oil derrick.” 

Karen puzzled over this. “Really? An oil derrick?” 

“If I had another one, I'd have two.” 

“Wait a minute,” said Yvette. “You can't just stick an oil derrick there.” 

“Sure I can,” replied Davy as he dropped his money in the bank. “I just did. Besides, you guys own everything, so I have to invest in something else. It was delivered by the Body Oder Railroad and paid for by the investors I swindled. Just ask my investment broker,” he added, pointing to Joshua. 

“ME? Don't get me wrapped up in your evil schemes!” laughed Joshua. 

“Why not? It's a perfectly legitimate scam,” countered Davy. “What do you think?” 

“I'd rather not say.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because you always do the opposite of what I tell you, that's why.” 

Davy fumed over this for a moment before shrugging it off. “What the heck, I'll do it anyways.” 

“An oil derrick, of all things,” scoffed Yvette. 

Davy brushed his ponytail back over his shoulder. “OK, let's settle this fair and square. Let's flip a coin. Heads, I win – tails, you lose.” 

Yvette gave Davy a hard stare. “Nice try, but I'm not falling for that one,” 

Davy grunted in disgust as he flipped the coin. “Just call it – oops!” Davy fumbled with the quarter and watched as it rolled across the floor and down the furnace duct. “Rats, I lost my quarter.” 

“Well, toss another one,” advised Joshua. 

“I don't have another quarter. I'll have to get that one back,” replied Davy, bumping the table as he got up. “Keep playing without me.” He gave Pat a quick peck on the cheek, adding, “Save my spot, honeybuns!” 

Everyone watched Davy leave the kitchen. “So whose turn was it?” asked Pat. 

“I think it was yours, wasn't it?” asked Yvette. “I lost track.” 

Pat shrugged. “OK, I'll go.” She rolled the dice and advanced four spots. Karen went next and landed on one of Pat's properties. “What do I owe you for rent?” she asked. 

“I think it's -” but was drowned out by a lot of banging from the ductwork in the basement. Joshua turned and peered down the furnace floor grate. “Everything ok down there?” he hollered. 

There were a few more bangs, followed by Davy's voice. “Yeah, I'm just trying to remove this section of ductwork.” 

“Keep it down, will ya?” hollered Yvette. “We're trying to carry on a conversation up here!” 

“Oh yeah?” Davy shot back as he furiously pounded on the ductwork. “How do you like THAT?” There was a screeching sound followed by a big noise. “There, I got it out,” came his voice up through the floor duct, followed by a violent sneeze. “Wow, it sure is dirty in there. Dad needs to have the ductwork cleaned out.” 

“Your turn,” said Karen, holding out the dice for Joshua.  

“Oh, thank you,” said Joshua as she dropped them into his hand. He rolled the dice and was about to move his piece when Davy's voice boomed up through the ductwork, “HEY BUCKWHEAT! Shine a flashlight down through the floor grate, would you?” 

Joshua looked at Yvette. “It's in the junk drawer,” sighed Yvette in disgust. 

Joshua opened the junk drawer under the kitchen counter and pulled out a flashlight. “Hey, it even works!” he exclaimed as he turned it on. Shining the light through the floor duct, he called out, “How's that?” 

Davy replied to this by banging on the ductwork some more. “There, I got it – oh, yuck.” 

“What?” asked Joshua. 

“That oatmeal I dumped down the floor grate last winter is still here.” 

“Oatmeal?” 

“Yeah, that stuff was awful. I'll be up in a minute.” 

Pat tried to stifle her giggles while Karen mused, “Is that good or bad?” 

“Well, he's persistent, I'll give him that,” said Joshua over the noise as Davy banged on the furnace ductwork to put it back together. He moved his piece a few places, then handed the dice to Yvette. “Here you go.” 

Yvette rolled the dice, advanced her piece, then announced, “Hey, I get to collect two hundred dollars!” 

Karen handed over the money just as Davy returned from the basement, looking a little grimy from handling the ductwork. As he washed his hands at the kitchen sink, Pat said, “Hey Batman, it's your turn when you're ready.” 

Davy wiped his hands on his shirt to dry them off as he sat down. “Oh boy!” He rolled the dice, advanced five places – and landed in jail. 

Yvette let loose with a sinister laugh. “Oh yes! Yes, yes, yes!” she hollered as Davy fumed at her. “It's not funny!” he said. 

“Oh yes it is!” she grinned, rubbing her hands together with glee. 

“Oh yeah? Well, it just so happens I have a good lawyer on retainer who'll get me out of this.” He pointed to Joshua. “Meet my lawyer of the law firm Buckwheat, Cupcake, and Honeybuns.”  

“Again?” asked Joshua. 

“You got me out the last time we played,” noted Davy. “Remember?” 

“Oh yeah, the counterfeiting venture,” said Joshua. “That was a tough case. Well, cough up some money so I can post your bail.” 

“I can't – I lost it on that financial engineering investment, remember?” 

“Financial engineering? That was more like a money laundering scam,” laughed Pat. 

“I was being politically correct. So, Buckwheat, how about a line of credit?” asked Davy. 

“I'd rather not take any more of your cases pro bono,” replied Joshua.  

“Oh come on, Buckwheat, I'm in a jam! You know I'm good for it!” 

“About as good as that counterfeit money you tried to pay me with.” 

“What is this, Pick-On-Davy-Odell Day?” 

“No, that's tomorrow,” Yvette chimed in. “Today is just a warm up.” 

“You're just not thinking like a financial strategist,” admonished Davy to Joshua. “Make corruption work for you.” 

“Yeah, and look at where your ill-gotten gains landed you,” noted Karen. 

Davy scratched his head. “I need an accountant. Wanna be my accountant?” 

Karen laughed. “No!”  

“How about collateral?”  

“Like what?” asked Joshua. 

“How about my ponytail?” offered Davy, waving his long blonde ponytail above his head. 

Yvette shook her head. “You're stalling!” 

“The sun was in my eyes,” countered Davy, who was clearly running out of excuses. 

Pat puzzled over this. “At night?” 

“It would be if we were playing in Alaska,” Davy quipped as he got up. He rummaged through the junk drawer and produced a deck of cards. “Here you go,” he said as he handed the cards to Pat. “Cut the deck.” 

Pat did as she was told, then handed them to Joshua to shuffle before he began to deal. “What are we playing for?” she asked.