“Hey, Buckwheat! I need your help.” 

“Sure,” replied Joshua. “What's up?” 

“Well,” explained Davy, “I really wanted to impress Pat for her birthday, so I decided to cook dinner for her.” 

“That's a romantic thing to do,” replied Joshua. “How did it go?” 

“Oh, it went great! We had marinated roast beef, baked potatoes with blue cheese sauce, toasted cheese tomatoes, salad, fresh baked bread, and cherry chocolate parfait for dessert.” 

Joshua was impressed. “Wow, I've cooked dinner for Karen before, but nothing like that! I didn't know you were such a culinary expert.” 

“Well, sort of, but not really,” shrugged Davy. “I had a little trouble with it.” 

“Like what?” asked Joshua, expecting that Davy left out some ingredient or undercooked it. 

“Well, things got a little smoky, and the smoke detectors went off.” 

Joshua nodded. “I've done that.” 

“Well, yeah, but then I opened a window to air the kitchen out.” 

“So?” 

Davy scratched his head. “The neighbors saw all the smoke, and thought the house was on fire.” 

“Well, didn't you tell them everything was OK?” asked Joshua. 

“I would have, but they had already called the fire department.” 

Joshua started to wonder, and had to ask, “So what happened?” 

“Well, in all the excitement, I forgot about the bread, which caught fire, the tomatoes went up in flames while I was trying to put out the bread, then the roast beef started burning nicely while I was paying attention to the tomatoes, and to top it all off, the potatoes exploded in the microwave because I left them in there too long.  

“But it was okay. By that time, the fire department had arrived and extinguished everything.” Noticing the look on Joshua's face, he added, “At least my ponytail didn't get singed.” 

“You and your ponytail,” admonished Joshua, shaking his head. “What happened to the cherry chocolate parfait?” he asked, putting the conversation back on track. 

“I forgot and left it in the blender, and it turned into cement,” said Davy with a shrug. 

Joshua puzzled over this for a bit. “So how did this go so great?” 

“Oh, that part,” said Davy. “Well, I still wanted to impress Pat for her birthday, so I took her out to dinner, and we had marinated roast beef, baked potatoes with blue cheese sauce, toasted cheese tomatoes, salad, fresh baked bread, and cherry chocolate parfait for dessert.” 

“So how do I fit into all of this?” asked Joshua rather hesitantly. 

“Can you come over? I need a lot of help cleaning up the place before Mom and Dad find out.”

Joshua peered into the oven. “Oh man, this will NEVER come clean. It's going to be the end of the world when your Mom sees this.” 

“I'm sort of counting on that,” replied Davy. 

“Sorry, Batman, but they keep canceling it due to a lack of interest.” 

Davy thought for a moment. “Maybe something really toxic will work...I'll check the garage; Dad has all sorts of industrial-strength cleaning supplies out there.” 

“I don't think there is a cleaning solvent toxic enough to touch that.” 

“Maybe I should get Dad's air chisel instead?” 

“Nah – you already broke the kitchen, you don't need to break any of your Dad's air tools.” 

“It's either that or join the Foreign Legion.” 

“Let me call Karen – maybe she can help,” suggested Joshua as he picked up his cell phone. 

“That's a great idea! Women are natural-born housekeepers. Oh, and ask if her Dad has any dynamite kicking around.” 

“What makes you think he has dynamite – hi Karen!” 

“He must – he's always threatening to blast me into orbit,” said Davy. “Which probably isn't such a bad idea right now.” 

Joshua ignored Davy as he talked to Karen. “Say, could you come over to Davy's house? We need some help cleaning up the kitchen.” 

“Ask Cupcake about the dynamite,” prodded Davy. 

“Davy, I'm sure she doesn't have any dynamite...” 

“Dynamite?” asked Karen. 

“Oh, Davy thinks some powerful explosives would help, but...” “Firecrackers would work in a pinch,” suggested Davy. “Lots of them.” 

“What?” asked Joshua. 

“What?” asked Karen. 

“What?” asked Davy. 

“Oh, Davy thinks your Dad has some dynamite,” said Joshua to Karen, who was getting exasperated at being caught in the middle of the conversation. “Anyways, Davy made a huge mess in his mother’s kitchen. Do you think you can come over and help us clean up this mess?” 

“Um, hold on a minute,” replied Karen. There was a moment of muffled voices before Karen got back on the phone. “Sure, give us a few minutes, and we'll be right over.” 

“Oh, who's with you?” asked Joshua. 

“I'm with Alycia. She said she'd be willing to help.” 

“That would be great! See you in a bit!” said Joshua. Then he turned to Davy. 

“Karen's bringing Alycia along to help.” 

Davy looked surprised. “Didn't she just get done with another round of chemo?” 

Joshua nodded. “I think so; she probably just wants to get out and about...I know it wears her out, though.” 

Davy opened a window. “Let's get this place aired out; at least it's nice out, and she'd probably like the fresh air, too...oops.” 

“NOW what?” asked Joshua. 

Davy stuck his head through the window. “The screen fell out.”

It wasn't long before Karen and Alycia pulled into the driveway, with the family dog Hoover barking and wagging his tail in greeting, while Go Away the cat jumped into Alycia's arms when they came through the kitchen door. Karen gave Joshua a quick kiss, then surveyed the kitchen. “Wow!” 

Davy beamed. “And I did it all by myself!” 

“And it's going to take all four of us to undo it,” laughed Karen. 

Alycia sat down. “Where's Pat?” 

“Oh, I had to bring her straight home after we went out to eat; her old man showed up to see her again, and he wasn't happy to see me.” 

“How come he doesn't like you?” she asked as she cuddled Go Away. 

“For one thing, he doesn't like my ponytail,” said Davy, plopping into a chair next to her. “He said it indicates that there's something wrong with me.” 

“You're really proud of that ponytail, aren't you?” asked Alycia, sounding a little tired. 

“Damn straight I am!” Davy exclaimed, thumping the table with his fist. “This has been my copyrighted, registered, patent-pending trademark since the sixth grade!” 

“I wish I had your ponytail,” said Alycia, giving Davy's ponytail a gentle stroke. “Don't worry, Creampuff; someday you'll get one again,” replied Davy. “But first, we need to clean up this mess before Mom kills me.” 

“This really isn't too bad,” said Karen. “Except for this.” she added, peering into the blender. “What's this?” 

“Oh, that's my secret recipe for cherry chocolate parfait,” replied Davy. 

“What did you use?” asked Karen, “Two parts lava to one part Portland cement?” 

“Almost,” replied Davy. “I added some chocolate syrup, too.”