“Look, I wrote a Christmas story!” exclaimed Davy above the din of the other students in the hallway as he held up his paper. 

“What is it about?” asked Joshua, as Pat took the paper. 

“The meanest reindeer of all. We always sing about him, but nobody ever recorded his story for posterity.” 

“The meanest reindeer of all? Who was that?” asked Karen. 

“You know, Olive, the other reindeer,” replied Davy. “He used to laugh and call him names, but not anymore.” 

“I know I'm going to regret asking this,” said Joshua, “but what happened to him?” 

Pat turned to the last page. “It says here that he got turned into venison stew.” 

“Served him right, too,” scoffed Davy, “Picking on Rudolph like that. I think this could be another Grimm's Fairy Tale classic.” 

“More like a grim fairy tale,” added Karen. 

“There is NO WAY Santa is going to fill your stocking this year!” laughed Joshua. 

“Unless he takes a shovel to the reindeer stalls,” added Karen with a smile. “I'll give you some credit, Batman,” said Pat as she handed back the paper. “That's the first time I ever saw an A for effort, and a D for content.” 

“I think it's just because Mrs. Mad Ducks doesn't like me... I'll get her for this.”

“Well, this has been a crummy day,” said Davy as he opened his car door. “I'm so glad it's Friday.” 

“Why, what happened?” asked Joshua as he opened the back door for Karen and Pat before getting into the front seat. 

“Oh, I got accused of putting a snowman in Mrs. Mad Ducks's car,” grumbled Davy. “Of all things.” 

“Why did you put a snowman in her car?” asked Karen. 

“I did not put a snowman in her car,” replied Davy. 

“It sounds like your handiwork,” said Joshua. “Like the giant snowman you put in the middle of Main Street.” 

“That wasn't me, either,” said Davy as he started the car. “That was Pig. I put the giant snowball in the No Parking Zone, remember?” “So why DID you put a snowman in Mrs. Maddox's car?” asked Pat. 

“I did not put a snowman in Mrs. Mad Ducks's car,” countered Davy. 

* * * 

Saturday morning Joshua and Karen followed the tracks in the snow through the salvage yard that Davy's father ran, where they found Davy and Pat under the hood of a car. Pat glanced up and called out, “Hi!” 

“What's going on?” asked Karen as she peered over Davy's shoulder. 

“Just a quick fix,” said Davy. “The choke plate was stuck closed.” 

Joshua looked at the runny yellow Batman logo Davy had spray-painted on the side of the car. “Nice paint job.” 

“Thanks! I did it myself,” replied Davy as he screwed the air cleaner lid back on. 

Joshua thumped the fender a couple times with his hand. “I like how you torched the fenderwells for extra tire clearance.” 

“Actually, Pat did that,” said Davy. 

“And I did it all by myself! Davy taught me how to light the torch and everything!” Pat proudly announced, adding, “My Dad would have a cow if he ever found out! It was fun! I'm thinking of signing up for metal shop so I can try my hand at metal sculpture.” 

Karen laughed, adding, “Davy's going to make a mechanic out of you yet!” 

“We jacked it up, too,” she continued. “Davy did the front springs and I did the rears.” 

“I think we're all set,” said Davy as he pulled down on the hood, which closed with a long groan. “Anything else before we head out?” 

“Let me go check the deductible on my life insurance policy...” started Joshua. 

“It's fine,” interrupted Davy. “As long as you made me beneficiary.” He reached in and bumped the key; the engine turned over a couple of times before it coughed and fired into an uneven, smoky rumble. “OK, everyone,” he announced. “All aboard for our annual holiday Christmas tree hunting expedition!” 

After everyone was belted in, Davy asked Joshua, “OK, Buckwheat, you ready?” 

“No.” 

“How about you, Cupcake? All set?” 

“No.” 

“Ready to go, Honeybuns?” 

“Not really.” 

“OK, brace yourselves, it's Davytime!” he sang as he floored the gas and dumped it into drive; the car spun the rear tires, raising a big roostertail before gaining traction and hurtling forward through the snow along the rows of junk cars and into the woods. Then Davy began to sing: 

“Dashing through the snow  

In a beat-up Chevrolet 

Crashing through the woods we go 

Thrashing all the waaaaaaaaaaaaay!” 

“But we're riding in an Oldsmobile!” laughed Pat from the back seat. 

“And a Merry Oldsmobile it is!” hollered Davy as they slid sideways around a bend. “Hey, I made up another Christmas song: Rudolph the Brownnose Reindeer. Wanna hear it?” 

“No.” 

“How about Frosty the Con Man?” 

“No!” 

“Then how about...” 

“NO!” 

Davy shrugged as they cleared a small hill. “Suit yourselves. Hey, this is like On The Road with Charles Kuralt,” said Davy as he launched the car over a berm. “Only mine would be called On The Road with Davy Odell”. 

“More like Off The Road with Davy Odell,” replied Joshua as the car crashed and swayed from a hard landing. 

“I was thinking On The Loose with Davy Odell,” added Pat from the back seat as she held on to the front seat headrest to keep from sliding around. 

 She was about to say something else but paused as the car began to sputter and cough before it quit running. They coasted to a stop and sat in silence as Davy looked at the gauges. “Ooops. Silly me, I forgot to put more gas in it.” 

“Oh great,” said Karen sarcastically. “Out Of Gas with Davy Odell.” 

“Relax, Cupcake,” Davy retorted. “I have a gas can in the trunk.” He reached into the glove box and hit the trunk release button. “Hey Buckwheat, give me a hand?” 

“Sure,” said Joshua as he opened his door. They walked to the back of the car, and Davy gave Joshua the gas can. “Here, dump some gas in the tank,” he said. “I'm going to prime the float bowl.” 

“With what?” asked Joshua as he removed the gas cap from the tank. 

Davy picked up a can of spray lubricant from the trunk. “This!” he exclaimed, holding it up. “When a product says it's dangerous, combustible, and causes cancer in the state of California, you know it's good stuff!” 

“Good thing we don't live there,” quipped Joshua. 

Davy just gave him a silly grin, then went to the front of the car, popped the hood, removed the air cleaner, and began to spray it into the float bowl. 

Just then Pat popped her head out the window. “Hey Batman, how long will this take?” 

“Not very,” said Davy. “We'll have this wreck running again in a jiffy!” And true to his word, it wasn't but a minute later that Davy started the car and floored the gas pedal, rocketing them through the woods on their quest to find some Christmas trees. 

Eventually Davy brought the car to a creaking halt in the middle of a clearing. “This is a good spot,” he said as he put the car in park. “There's some good ones over there – take your pick!” 

Joshua reached under the seat for a saw. “See anything you like?” he asked Karen. 

Karen thought a moment. “I kind of like that one,” she said, pointing to one standing in front of a grove of trees. “But I'd like to look around a bit first.” 

“You said that last year,” said Davy as he and Pat walked over to inspect some smaller trees. “Don't take all day this time!” 

“I did not take all day!” she laughed, tossing a snowball at him. Davy returned fire, but his aim was off, and he hit Joshua instead. “Oh yeah?” laughed Joshua. “I'll show you!” as he hurled a snowball at Davy. Davy grabbed Pat, who shrieked as he tried to use her for a shield before running behind the car and throwing snowballs as fast as he could. But he was outnumbered three to one, and it wasn't long before he finally surrendered. “Boy, what a tough crowd!” he laughed as he brushed the pelted snow off his sweatshirt. 

“Not as tough as that snowman you put in Mrs. Maddox's car!” Karen teased. 

“I did NOT put a snowman in Mrs. Maddox's car!” Davy playfully retorted as he and Pat walked off to select a tree. 

An hour later, they had four trees lashed to the roof and trunk of the car; Joshua and Karen had each chosen a handsome spruce to take home, Pat picked out a small one that she deemed just right for the apartment she and her mother lived in, while Davy had cut a large fir - “Think of all the loot that will fit under it!” - as he put it. 

“Now we just need to get them home,” noted Joshua as they pulled into the salvage yard. 

“Oh, that's no problem...hold on a minute,” replied Davy as he dashed into his father's garage. A moment later he came back and stuck a dealer plate to the rear bumper before he hopped back into the car. “There, we're all set!” he announced as he buckled his seat belt. 

“Is this thing even road-worthy?” asked Pat. 

“Of course not,” replied Davy as they went down the road. “I wouldn't be driving it if it was.”

Joshua stopped by Davy's house Sunday afternoon to find Davy in his car all bundled up with the A/C going full blast. Joshua knocked on the window, and Davy rolled it down a crack. 

“Hey Batman, what're you doing? It's twenty-three degrees out!” 

“Trying to see if I can frost up the windows.” 

“Like how you frosted Mrs. Maddox with that snowman you put in her car?” 

“I did NOT put a snowman in Mrs. Mad Ducks car,” stated Davy flatly. “Oh well, I guess this isn't going to work.” He shut the car off, then popped open the trunk to remove a bag of golf clubs. 

“What's with the golf clubs?” asked Joshua. 

“Dad got mad because I put a hockey puck through the living room window. I fixed it, but he found out anyways.” 

“How did he find out?” 

“I think he caught on when he noticed a draft coming through the window screen.” 

“So what's with the golf clubs?” 

“Dad burned my hockey stick.” 

Joshua pulled a bent-up club out of the bag. “So you—” 

“—used his golf clubs to play hockey.” said Davy, reading Joshua's mind. 

Joshua studied the bent club. “Your father is going to have a fit when he sees his five-iron like this.” 

“Not really; this is his good set.” 

“You used his GOOD set to play hockey???” 

“Dad never uses them, he said they're too expensive, so he uses his old set instead.” 

“This one is bent, too,” noted Joshua, looking at a pretzeled putter. 

“Pig bent that one,” said Davy. 

“They're ALL bent!” exclaimed Joshua as he rooted through the bag. 

“Nobody else had a hockey stick, either,” explained Davy. “Besides, I have another winter sport I want to take up.” 

“Like what?” asked Joshua. 

* * * 

“Is that the best you can do?” chided Davy. “Snow is just powdered rain pack it harder!” 

Joshua clutched the snowball to his chest and squeezed it as hard as he could. “If I could pack it any harder, I'd have a diamond.” Then he held it up for Davy to see. “Ok, Batman, ready to try again?” 

“Serve!” exclaimed Davy. Joshua tossed the snowball to Davy, who swung at it with a tennis racket. Then he looked at the racket, which had some snow stuffed in it. “That didn't work so well.” 

“Neither did the baseball bat,” replied Joshua. “Want to try one more?” 

Davy looked at the tennis racket. “Nah, I think I'm all set. Besides, this thing is getting warped.” 

Joshua walked over to look at the racket. “That looks a little too far gone to save.” 

“That's ok,” replied Davy. “I'll just chuck it in the woodstove. Besides, it was Yvette's.” 

Joshua shook his head. “Santa's going to take a shovel to the reindeer stalls to fill your stocking this year if you don't make amends with your sister!” 

Davy gave Joshua a silly grin. “Hey, I may be on Santa's bad list, but think of all the fun I had getting there!” 

“Not to mention all the migraines you've caused, like when you put that snowman in Mrs. Maddox's car.” 

“I did NOT put a snowman in Mrs. Maddox's car,” scoffed Davy. Then he began to sing, “Have yourself...a Davy little Christmas...” 

Just then Yvette came up behind Davy and gave his pony tail a hard yank. “There's going to be very little left of Davy this Christmas if he doesn't get me a new tennis racket!” 

“OUCH! Quit it!” Davy spun around to take a swipe at her, but he fell over backwards into the snow.  

Yvette started to laugh, but Davy threw a fistful of snow in her face, while Joshua sat down on the front steps and casually watched them battle it out. While all this was going on, a minivan pulled into the driveway, dropping off Pat and Karen. 

“Thanks Mom! See you later!” Pat waved as the minivan backed out of the driveway. They walked over to the front steps and sat down next to Joshua. “What's going on?” Pat asked, nodding toward Yvette and Davy, who were locked in mortal combat. 

“They're discussing what they want for Christmas,” answered Joshua as Yvette nailed Davy with a snowball. “By the way, I like the red and green highlights in your hair – very festive!” 

“Thanks! 'Tis the season!” she replied as Yvette dodged a couple of snowballs Davy drilled at her. 

“Ready to go caroling this evening?” asked Karen, leaning over to give Joshua a kiss. 

“You bet! How about you, Pat?” asked Joshua as Davy and Yvette tumbled around in the snow. 

“I'm excited - I've never been before! And Karen said Davy can actually sing pretty good.” 

Joshua nodded as a snowball whizzed over his head. “He does—as long as we can keep him from making up his own lyrics.”