Trees loomed outside my window. Living next to a forest was different than living in apartment buildings. Much better if I needed to skip school.  

Dad hurried into my bedroom. “Time for school, Dhir.” 

“It won’t be different. They won’t like me.” 

“We talked about your attitude,” Dad said. “You have to try to make friends.” 

Right. Smile when they hit you because of the color of your skin. Being smaller and way smarter didn't help. "Why can't you homeschool me?" 

"You need friends your age. We don't want to leave you alone while we work. It's lucky your mother and I got day shifts at the hospital." 

"The hospital is lucky," I said. My parents had doctor's credentials to prove their worth. 

Dad patted my shoulder. "Come and we'll drop you off." 

"Thanks, I'll catch the bus." 

I grabbed my books. No way could I go to school like a little kid. I was fifteen. 

"Try not to get into trouble on your first day," Dad said. 

"It's never my fault." 

Dad gave me that look. I slunk to the front door. Going to a new school in the middle of the semester sucked. 

Mom kissed my cheek as she grabbed her purse. "Do you have your key?" 

"Sure, Mom." 

She and Dad hurried to the garage. "See you tonight," Dad said. "Try to fit in." 

I would never fit in. I was born in America, but I didn't look American. The stupid school didn't even know how to classify me in their records. Was I Asian-Indian, East-Indian, Indo-American? There was no “brown” category.  

I started down the road to the bus stop. Would this school be like all the others? It was stupid to hope for something different just to be disappointed again. The mountains and wide open spaces of Central Oregon were awesome. Except that I felt like a speck. Unimportant. 

I stepped into a bus of noisy kids – all ages. Kept my head down. A foot shot out and tripped me. My knees hit the floor hard. Books scattered down the aisle. 

“I saw that, Jed,” warned the bus driver. “You want to walk?” 

"It was an accident, sir," said Jed. "I was stretching out a cramp." 

I collected my books and looked at Jed. He was big with scowling black eyes. He whispered so only I could hear, “I’ll be seeing ya, brownie.” 

Chills iced down my spine. I scurried to a seat, wanting to be invisible. Bullies found me like radar. How did they know I wouldn’t fight back? 

The bus pulled up at the school. It wasn't as large as the ones back east. Yesterday, the principal said there were fifteen-hundred kids. I didn’t know if that was good or bad for me. I waited until everybody got off the bus before I did. 

“Good luck, kid,” the bus driver said. 

“Thanks.” 

I’d need it. I hadn’t even stepped into the school yet and I was already marked. 

I tried to swallow the dry lump in my throat as I slunk through the front doors. Kids laughed and talked. I saw Jed across the room. He pointed at me to his two friends. Great. More bullies. I recognized the type. It was in their eyes and their attitude. 

I looked at the floor. Scooted down the sophomore hall. My hand shook while trying to work the combination for my locker. I looked around but didn’t see Jed. He was probably an upper classman. 

I grabbed a couple of books as the bell rang. I rushed to class in a sea of tall kids. I found Algebra II and sat in the back. 

A girl slipped into the desk next to me. She smiled and said, “Hi. You’re new. I’m CJ.” 

Either I was dreaming or my mind had turned to mush. Cute girls didn’t talk to me. I stared at her long blond hair. The blue streaks in it matched her eyes. 

Say something, I thought. “Is CJ short for something?” 

“Carol Jean.” 

“I’m…Dhir.” My voice broke and I felt like a jerk. 

“Cool name. Where are you from?” she said. 

“New York.” 

CJ didn't laugh or ask, "No really, what country?" Instead she said, “I want to go to New York. The Conservatory for Dramatic Arts. If I can get a scholarship.” 

“You want to be an actress?” I asked. 

“Everyone says I'm a natural. Do you act?" 

"I wouldn't know how." 

“You should join the drama club. Your deep voice is cool.” 

The room wavered before my eyes. I couldn’t breathe. I pinched myself to see if I was dreaming. Ow. 

“Come and watch us rehearse the new play after school,” she said. She turned to talk to another girl. 

My heart pounded. A girl talked to me! The rest of the day was cool, too. Kids smiled or nodded or said “hi.” Way different from the other schools I had attended. 

I didn’t have CJ in any more classes. She waved from across the hall once. I noticed her dimples that time. My heart did a kind of flip-flop thing. I had hope for this school. Until the last bell rang. 

I couldn’t get my locker combination to work. The hall emptied by the time I got it open. Footsteps ran up behind me. I saw Jed and his friends out of the corner of my eyes. My hope crashed. 

Jed towered over me and asked, “Where you from, brownie?” 

“A package mix,” I said. It slipped out. Sometimes I can’t keep my mouth shut.  

The other two boys snickered. Jed sneered. “Initiation time for smart-mouth.” 

They grabbed me. Pushed me toward my locker. A wave of fear hit me. Time stopped. Scenes flashed into my mind. Everything that any bully had ever done to me. My stomach churned. I hurled on Jed. 

He yelled, “IDIOT! SHUT HIM IN.” 

My face hit the back wall of the locker. The door slammed shut. 

“I’LL GET EVEN, BROWNIE.” 

I freaked out in the small space. Bumped metal. Tried to free my hands and reached the latch. Couldn’t move it. 

“Help. Somebody help me,” I yelled. It came out as a croak. I sucked in air. Not enough. 

Darkness swam behind my eyes and swallowed me. 

“Dhir?” A metallic knocking banged inside my head. I couldn’t move. 

“Dhir! Are you in there?” 

I recognized CJ’s voice and opened my eyes. 

“Yes,” I mumbled, trying to turn toward the door. Stuck, I stopped trying. 

“Tell me your combination.” 

I did and the door opened. 

“Oh, Dhir. I’m so sorry.” CJ took my arm. Her perfume surrounded me. “Easy. One step at a time,” she said. 

I straightened, stiff and sore. 

“Are you all right?” she asked. 

I stared at the floor. Ashamed. 

“Tell me you’re okay.” 

I got lost in her worried eyes. “I’m fine,” I said, leaning against the locker. I sucked in air. “How did you find me?” 

“Your shirt hung out the door.” 

I felt my face get hot. “I have to catch the bus.” 

“It’s gone. Everybody’s gone.” 

I looked at my watch. Two hours of my life were gone, too. 

“Who did this to you?” she asked. 

“Some guys.” 

"You have to report this to the Principal." 

I slunk toward the front door. “No way.” 

CJ walked next to me. “Our school is cracking down on bullies. You have to speak up.” 

“Trust me," I said. "If I say anything, it will make things worse.” 

CJ stopped. “This has happened before?” 

I sighed. “Every school.” 

“That’s awful.” 

We reached the door and she turned to me. “Let me take you home. I got my driver’s license last month.” 

“Okay.” I didn’t want to walk home in the dark. My head ached. I had to think. To figure out what I was going to tell my parents.  

CJ talked about play practice all the way to my house. Probably trying to distract me. It didn’t work. 

“Thanks for the ride,” I said, closing the car door. 

“See you tomorrow,” she said. 

I took a deep breath and walked through my front door. I didn’t want to tell my parents what happened. Not again. They couldn’t always rescue me. If I didn’t start taking charge of my life now, when would I? 

“Dhir, we were worried about you,” said Mom. 

“I’m sorry. I missed the bus.” 

Dad added, “You could have texted us.” 

“One of my classmates drove me home after her play practice. A girl named CJ.” 

Mom set the table and said, “Next time, invite CJ inside so we can meet her.” 

“Sure, Mom.” 

“I’m glad you finally have a friend,” Dad said. 

“I just met her, Dad.” 

“That’s a start,” he replied. 

I ate quickly and said, “It’s been a long day. I have homework and then I’m going to bed. See you in the morning.”  

Mom kissed my cheek. “Sweet dreams, Dhir.” 

Yeah, right. “Goodnight, Mom.” 

“Goodnight, Son.” 

“’Night, Dad.” 

I closed my bedroom door and threw myself on the bed. My head pounded. One thing was sure. I wasn’t going to school tomorrow. I figured I had a couple of days. No one would miss a new kid. 

I didn’t know what I was going to do about Jed. Nobody likes a tattle-tale. 

I threw my clothes on the floor and climbed into bed. Nightmares came easily - shadows, blurred faces and running. Always running.